Insecurity and social anxiety.?

I'm 33 and I believe I'm a normal guy... underneath the insecurity that I've had my whole adult life! I love video games and wanted to be a 3D modeler before I got my degree in graphic design. I think they are fun and artistic. I'm not a sports nut, and my friends say so what, a lot of guys aren't. I like The Universe, the show about astronomy, Myth-busters and cartoons because I think animation is fun and artistic, along with Fringe and House. I occionally like sci-fi. I started reading more. I love indie music like Radiohead, Iron and Wine, Grizzly Bear, Deerhunter, The Dirty Projectors, Sigur Ros, Animal collective, The Smiths etc... I think I'm normal except for the fact that I've worried my whole life that people will think I'm a nerd or loser. It's so crippling I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 19. I have very loving parents and friends who think I'm normal. They keep telling me when I ask if I think I'm a nerd or ugly that they have no clue, no idea where I get the idea from. My best friend says he doesn't think I am nerd like at all and that he doesn't see where I get the idea. People who know me think I'm handsome, I've been hit on by girls when I could manage little shreds of confidence here and there but I'm afraid to open up to people. I'm on SSRI's that take the physical nervous edge off and don't have panic attacks but the obsessive yzing everyday for years about what people think of me smacks of something I read about avoidant personality disorder. I worry people will think I'm a loser or nerd or something even though I'm an adult and my friends my age say those stereotypes aren't real, especially out of high school and even if they some how did exist they don't know why I'd think I am one. They keep trying to console me, tell me I'm as normal as anybody they know and that they can't understand why I can't get my self esteem straight.